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Dave’s All-Time Wrestlemania Dream Matches | Full Page Bleed

Written by  Published March 29, 2015 02:45
It’s that time of year again, it’s the show of shows! The granddaddy of them all! Wrestlemania! And like every year, I have a special column dedicated to the biggest sports entertainment spectacle of the year! This year I wanted to do something a bit different and fun, and count down my personal all-time dream matches for Wrestlemania. Some of these may happen, some are highly unlikely and some are literally impossible, but we can all dream, can’t we?! And after all “anything can happen in the WWE!” This was a really difficult task to weed these down to 5, but these are the grapplers that I personally wish could meet and steal the show. Enjoy!

 

5.  Mick Foley vs. Dean Ambrose: Extreme Rules

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Let’s begin with a bout that would certainly delight fans of hardcore wrestling. Mainstream WWE fans may not know much about Dean Ambrose’s early days in the independent circuit wrestling under the moniker John Moxley, but he was known as a hardcore savant in CZW (some may remember this fed from the gorier scenes in Mickey Rourke’s The Wrestler film) and other indie organizations.

Ambrose hasn’t really gotten the chance yet to shine in many Extreme Rules matches in WWE with the PG rating and all, so why not start with the biggest hardcore legend of all time? Mick Foley, Mankind, Cactus Jack, Dude Love...Santa...whatever he wants to call himself. He will forever be known as the guy that Undertaker hurled off a cell, landed through an announce table...and came back for more in 1998. It’s a shame that Mick probably wouldn’t go for “one more match” at his age. The window for this match to happen is basically closed.

Weirdly enough though, Ambrose had  a “kayfabe” (that means storyline for those not carny talk savvy) with Foley while he was still in NXT, and they even had a heated exchange at WWE Fan Axxess in 2012. So there is a bit of history there to base a feud between the two.

These could be the two craziest dudes in the history of WWE (and that’s saying something) and I would love to see them go at it...just once...without any rules, for all and any marbles each of them have left in their scrambled heads, and at Wrestlemania to boot! Who’s with me?!

It doesn’t even matter who would win...think of the blood bath! Flaming tables, barb-wire covered baseball bats...everything but the kitchen sink...heck...throw in a kitchen sink for them to throw at eachother! This totally would NOT be PG!

 

4. The Wyatt Family vs. Raven’s Flock: Six Man Tag Team Match

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Okay, this one is a twisted favorite of mine that I just would love to see. Two weird teams of outcasts going at it in an all-out battle to the finish.

We have the Wyatt Family...a band of creepy backwoods swamp people that follow a sadistic madman that spouts sermonic psycho-babble that captivates even the most good-guy loving wrestling fans. And then there’s The Flock, a band of grungy loners that...follow a sadistic madman that spouts almost poetic, Gaiman-esque psycho-babble that sounds equally beautiful and masochistic.

Bray Wyatt and Raven are two sides of the same crazy coin, and both represent groups of guys that were shunned by the world. Both also are charismatic and enthralling to watch on the mic and in the ring. A singles bout between them would be just as interesting to watch, and would be a great way to begin the feud at the pay-per-view leading up to ‘Mania. Imagine just the promos these two would put together! It would be amazing.

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But what would be even more fun is to see them reunite their respective teams for a giant six man tag match at the show of shows! The big men, Luke Harper and Erick Rowan would come back to aid their mentor and on Raven’s side...his WCW followers, the flea-infested cruiserweight Billy Kidman and the not-all-there Perry Saturn (an underrated favorite of mine). And who can forget the “original sign guy” Lodi and Raven’s lapdog, Stevie Richards at ringside to cheer on the Flock? Aw man, this would be a true dream come true for me. The match would be an all out scary war...nobody would be safe!

The referee would not be able to control this one, whatsoever...but the match would have to be “Raven’s Rules” anyhow. It’s in his contract (it’s true, in WCW he “had it in his contract” that any match he wrestled in HAD to be contested under his own rules...which meant no rules at all)!

Yeah, this would be a prize slobberknocker. But in the end, y’know what? Both Raven and Wyatt would realize that they are not meant to be enemies...and combine both of their “families” into one giant twisted circus just to watch the world burn...together.

“Follow THE RAVEN! FOREVER more!” (insert maniacal laughter)

 

3. Dolph Ziggler vs. “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig: 2-out-of-3 Falls Match

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I know, I know. Hennig passed away in 2003, but this is a “dream list”, it doesn’t need to be possible! What’s important is that this match...would steal the show at ANY Wrestlemania. BET on it.

Ziggler is so much like Curt was, in so many ways. The way he carries himself in the ring and outside of it is clearly influenced by Mr. Perfect, among other cocky legends. Put these two guys in a 2-out-3 falls match and you would have a classic that people would talk about for decades.

Imagine it! The reversals, the near falls....the perfectly (pun intended) executed moves, the twin platinum blonde afros they would be sporting 10 minutes into the match ....and when it’s all said and done, the respectful hug between competitors, with Hennig passing on the torch to the future hall-of-famer (HE BETTER BE!!), Ziggler. It would be glorious, people. Glorious.

If actual Deloreans or Tardis’ existed (well...time travelling Deloreans, I mean!), I would DEMAND this match happen! I don’t care if it ruined the space-time continuum in the process! Wrestling purists deserve that match.

 

2. Shawn Michaels vs. Daniel Bryan

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See, here’s where things would get really interesting. Because this one has actually been teased and it wouldn’t be too hard to create a very compelling story between these two.

Daniel Bryan was actually trained by Shawn Michaels at his school in San Antonio in his early career, and last year while Bryan was feuding with HBK’s best pal, Triple H, D-Bry actually came to odds with his former teacher...even applying his signature YES! Lock on Michaels.

So, could this match actually happen?! Probably not. Shawn is officially retired, and while he could still hit his Sweet Chin Music move once in a blue moon, I don’t think he would strap on the chaps for another match.

This match would be off the chain, though, wouldn’t it? I don’t think it would even need a fancy stipulation or anything. I would just like to see these two put on a clinic in there. And the back-story alone would be SO good.

Is Bryan better than Michaels? I could never answer that. I will say he could possibly one day surpass “Mr. Wrestlemania”...he’s that good. YES! YES! YES!!!

 

We finally have gotten to the match that (right now) I would most like to see at Wrestlemania...and y’know what? I’m gonna predict something right now. We just may see this go down at next year’s show of shows.

1. Undertaker vs. Sting

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I’ve made absolutely no bones about it. Undertaker is my favorite wrestler of all time. Why? I don’t think he’s the best technical wrestler I’ve ever seen. He probably wouldn’t even make my top 5...but the man is my favorite wrestling character ever. BY FAR.

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Taker is a real life superhero to me. So is Hulk Hogan (I can now say I’ve seen Hulkster up close...trust me. He’s the closest thing to a superhero I will ever see) and even guys like John Cena, The Rock and Drax The Destroyer himself, Batista are like superheroes come to life.

But man, Undertaker has been basically a living (or dead, actually) comic book character for the better half of his career (let’s not talk about that time he was just a biker). He’s an mythical spectre come back to take any and all evildoers. And he prefers to do it on the “grandest stage of them all”, Wrestlemania.

But then, there’s only one man that is parallel to him in all of wrestling. He took on a literal gang of badguys in WCW in the nWo, and actually DRESSES like a famous mythical spectre come back to take on any and all evildoers from geek culture: THE CROW!

These men shouldn’t just meet at Wrestlemania next year....THEY NEED TO. They are both on the end of their respective, legendary careers and what better way to send them both (not to mention the Attitude Era/Monday Night Wars era of wrestling) off with one last bout?

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Now, the actual match probably wouldn’t a technical classic like some of the others on my list, but the novelty value would be through the roof. If WWE really wants to get the most out of advertising from this thing...they would announce it a year ahead on the Monday Night Raw after Wrestlemania, just like they did with Rock/Cena in 2011. The fans would love it.

I am a lifelong Undertaker fan, and to be honest, I liked Sting’s ring work back in his early WCW days (what I've seen of it), but I enjoy his "Crow" persona more than anything he's ever done in the ring in the last two decades. He's never impacted me as a fan more than looking like a comic book character.

So of course I’d be on Team Taker for this one. But it doesn’t really matter who wins in the end. Again, this one is all about the entertainment factor. There's nobody left but these two that have that dramatic flair of 80's/90's wrestling.

Please, just make it happen, WWE! There's probably only one last chance to see this!

 

So there you have it Bleeder Buddies! Again, these are “DAVE’S” dream Wrestlemania bouts, and there’s a lot more that didn’t make the Top 5! Any other matches people would like to see? Cena vs. Hogan? CM Punk vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin? Big Show vs. Andre The Giant? Let me know in the comment section below or hit me up on Twitter!

Enjoy Wrestlemania, folks! And remember, you don’t even have to be a wrestling fan to love this show!

 

Dave Michaels

With his unique brand of humour mixed with die-hard passion and knowledge for all things comic books, Dave Michaels puts his weekly spin on the pop culture like only he can. Each “episode” of Full Page Bleed provides fun, wacky commentary, interviews, recommendations of Dave’s favourite comics, and whatever else his “evil genius” can conjure up. What are you reading THIS for?! Read some FPB RIGHT NOW and PREPARE to BLEED COMICS! FPB is Here...

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