“Yes, I was an Escort Girl”, originally published in True Life Secrets #12 March 1953. Artist, Art Cappello and published by Charlton. This must have been the inspiration for the movie, Pretty Woman. It’s about a young girl named Vivian and she’s having a hard time finding a job. She wanted to be a model but the industry is oversaturated with them at the time so she did what any girl would do, applied for a job as an escort. OK, being that it was originally published in 1953 you’d think that “escort” meant something other than what current politicians pay for. This story really plays it up that back then an escort, or “good time girl”, just meant dinner date. Vivian’s boss had a side scam going though, where he would blackmail some of the wealthier clients. In the end one dame is dead and the pimp gets pinched. This was a very typical romance comic of that time, not all that weird. In other words it’s just a warm up for the good stuff.
Good stuff like, “Too Fat For Love” first published in Darling Love #7, Winter 1950-51, artist Harry Lucey and published by Close-Up. Seriously, nobody could write something like that today and get away with it. Sadly though, things don’t seem like they hanged much since the 50s. “They say that all the world loves a fat man…but what about a fat girl? The story is different there..much different, as I know so well!” This is Mona and Mona thinks she’s too fat for love. Mona has been teased for being overweight and Tommy even calls her “Fatso”. When Tony tries to console Mona she just thinks he’s being polite. Mona cries to her mother and her mother assures her she’s not fat, she’s “pleasantly plump”. Her mother lets her know that boys don’t like plump women but men do. Mona goes to the doctor to see if there’s anything that can be done and her doctor informs her that she has a glandular problem. This is a feminists nightmare! It really is because Mona gets so depressed after she finds out that her Dad offered some guy named Gene half of his business if he’d marry Mona. When Mona found out Gene didn’t love her she locked herself in her room and didn’t eat for days. A baby feminist’s spirit just shriveled up and died!
Weird Love #2 truly has something for everyone, even a one page Picture Biography of Ronald Reagan “Dream Beau of the Month”. This one page was published in Sweethearts #111, May 1952. Before Reagan was demanding the Berlin wall be taken down he was an actor and evidently a “dream beau”. Yes before he was the 40th president of the United States he was a life guard, swimming coach, radio announcer and actor to name a few. This doesn’t seem like it qualifies as “weird love”, but one person’s weird is another’s, no this qualifies as weird.
Moving along the stories stay true to the title of the book. “Bosco Plays Matchmaker!” is about a matchmaking bear. Yes, a bear named Bosco in the Bronx Zoo. This is quite possibly the best story of the bunch. Bosco grabs a woman’s purse and she thinks it’s a good idea to climb in his enclosure to retrieve it. Sadly stories like this still happen today. So she’s inside the bear’s cage and a man comes to her rescue. He doesn’t have a tranquilizer dart so what does he do? He punches that bear right in the face and then he falls in love with the stupid girl that climbed in the bear’s cage. Just like it happens in real life.
There are six stories in this issue and they’re all on the weird side, especially the one where the man wants to ban mini-skirts and the girl does hard drugs and loses control of her dancing feet. So yes, if you have not caught the love bug make sure you fill your free time with some good, weird love stories.